5:30 in the morning all the windows in my house are wide open letting the sounds of birds singing enter my bedroom along with the fresh yummy spring air…..I sit here reflecting on all the hats that I wore yesterday. A typical yet not so typical Thursday morning. This Thursday I began yet another chapter in my life. But it started out me as a student, the student hat…on the mat coming home amongst the chaos. A great lesson, great grounding reminder. That no matter the chaos, no matter the challenges coming on to the mat is like coming home. We all have these chaotic times and having a great teacher & friend remind me that we have a place of acceptance and safeness to come to when ever we need it…our mat..I feel so much gratitude towards her for that. Next hat..me the patient…I wear that hat a lot more than not these days. I sat in a chair as the needles went in. Some only briefly..others hours. This gave me time to reflect on how many times I have warn this hat and how much gratitude I feel towards nurses, doctors, family and friends. With out the help of each of them I wouldn't be here to say thank you and continue on this journey. This hat carries a lot of anger. So many questions that when answered bring more questions. This hat brings fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of what is yet to come. Somedays this hat brings on sadness….as I cry so many why me tears. But this hat always brings strength. The hat of pure raw strength and courage. Sometimes I have to dig really deep into the bottom of my being to find it but its there and I wear it with honour. Because the hat that is right next to it is the hat of GRATITUDE. As I am so grateful that I am still here to wear these hats.
Making my way home from the hospital feeling tired I now begin to sit the teacher hat on. The hat that allows me to share my love and passion with all beings. This beautiful adorn hat brings humbleness, compassion, love, acceptance, strength, and a lot of lessons. Not all lessons that I teach but lessons that are taught to me from the beautiful faces and souls that look to me for guidance on the mat. The teacher hat gives me the gift to learn from all I teach. Each day I see a yogi come to class and settle in and work so hard at their practice and listen to their own bodies while growing taller, more expansive, more in tune with their own inner beings teaches and reminds me that no matter the obstacle that is dropped in the middle of the road we can and will work our way around, over or through it. For that I am grateful and I am able to graciously wear the hat of GRATITUDE.
I arrive home after a beautiful YIN class and the hat of fatigue settled in. The tears flowed down my face. I was so physically and mentally exhausted that I couldn't stop the tears, so I just let them flow. I was curled up with a blanket, a warm cup of tea and box of kleenex. All the emotions that I had felt through out the day had all rushed over my little body like a ranging river. One huge gush after another. After an hour or so the tears began to subside and I began to look deep into my own heart space to find something or someone that I knew was there….the strong Evie that can fall apart, speak her truth, love herself and others unconditionally , accept the fact that she is “Perfectly Imperfect” and can help others see and find this beautiful feeling of compassion in ones self for one self. For that I wear the hat of GRATITUDE.